Preface
who knew i would decide to change the course of my life on a random friday evening. i have grown my hair again. they are long enough to cover my nape and qualify me to be called jesus by my colleagues at workplace.
you probably know me from before - maybe we studied together, or worked together, or met while traveling. but there is a very high chance you wouldn't recognize me from before. i am not the same as when we last met. and it's not just the hair.
things have changed, for better or for worse. actually mostly worse. to put it lightly, i have let go of myself. i gained 22 kgs in the last 6 months. had the worst fucking start to a career. and lost all my passion to follow any creative pursuit.
till i started writing this.
it finally hit me - any moment in life I can decide...to be better. and so this letter is not to weep or rant. this is a declaration of war. i declare war on myself and in next 90 days i will emerge victorious.
i invite you to my war room and present you my battle plan. grab a seat and focus. what you're about to read are lessons from years of fucking up and fixing oneself - and in the journey you will soon realize why i am sure about my win.
Chapter 1 - How I lost my kingdom?
here look at this image.
this is the day i started my job as a consultant. heart brimming with hope, about to start my corporate career for the first time. i could finally be an independent person. earn for myself. and even though nobody wishes to pay tax - it feels good when you reach the level where you're obliged to.
but soon, the light left my eyes. the realization came that all of this was a lie. the lie that the world will take care of you if you work hard. that life will work for you if you go to the best business school in the country.
well. life took a pretty nasty turn.
these two photos are 3 months and 22 kgs apart. you read that right. that's how much time it takes for life to fuck you up.
3 months into my first job and i put down the paper. served my notice period for 4 days and fell into the wild wild jungle of unemployment.
i was fully crushed under the weight of my own expectations. unemployed when i should have been on cloud nine. and here i thought, i won capitalism. tsk tsk tsk.
i couldn't have prepared myself for what came next. i hit rock-bottom. i had to be reborn. I'll leave that story for later.
in retrospect - i wasn't ready for the real world. i lost confidence. in how i looked. in what i was capable of.
that was September 2025. today is 1st May 2026. it took me 8 months to fully recover and find myself again. i am still in the pit. light is peeking. a huge wall is still yet to be climbed. but I've figured out how to climb out of it.
on 1st August 2026, my eyes will fully catch light again. i would have emerged from the pit. i would have killed the version of myself that exists today.
because in next 90 days, i will follow a regime that requires indomitable spirit. it requires discipline - but more than that, fear. fear of slipping on the way up while climbing the wall.
it will be a three-pronged approach. to take back control of body, mind, and heart.
and bringing you into this war room - asking you to sit with me - that is one of the tactics. i am playing mind games. on myself.
yes, i want to teach you some game. but if I'm being honest, this whole thing was mostly a coercion of myself. i have now set myself up to fail disgustingly. the fear of you walking up to me on 2nd August and asking how it went - and me having nothing to show - i can't let that happen. i don't think there's a pit deeper than the one I'm in today.
you understand now how i lost my kingdom. and i think you're starting to wonder how exactly we take it back. the strategy. the tactics. don't worry, I'll map it all out.
but not now. i need a break.
how about chapter 2 next week?